Videos > How do I start (and keep) conversations?

 

Thank you for bringing your awesomeness, your energy, your intelligence into my world. I am simply in awe of your maturity and your humility to try to understand this life a little better and how to experience more happiness, a little more success, and how to grow and take care of your relationships. So much of your joy and success is connected to this ability and skill. I know that relationships take courage

 

I know that we have to stare at rejection straight in its face and move forward, knowing that there is a risk. But at the same time, I want you to know that the benefits far outweigh the negatives. We cannot allow our catastrophic scenarios and daydreams to drive our life. I want you to know that you've got a fan in this life. 

 

I'm here cheering for you. Your scandalous and crazy behaviors don't scare me. I see you, I hear you, and I'm fully committed to help you to live an extraordinary and meaningful life. And these little bits of truth and tips will help you to do exactly that.

 

The two acronyms that I want you to remember are CASH and SWIFT.

 

CASH is your simple tool to help you to get things started, and SWIFT will carry you through and help you to keep things moving. Let's begin with CASH.

 

C stands for compliment. I don't think we compliment each other enough, and my hope is that by the end of today, you'll make a courageous goal to compliment the people in your life more often. Let me give you some examples. Hey, I like what you did back there.I like those shoes. They're sweet. I like your taste in music, Pick a characteristic and match it to the people you're with. Quit telling yourself that it's awkward, that it's weird, or that there's never a good time. Enough with the excuses. Just learn to do a good thing and let the chips fall where they may.



A stands for Ask Questions. By now, you've realized that this life isn't just about you. So get to know the people that you're with by asking them questions about school, work, their interests, their friends, their family. And of course, when they respond, listen to them. Don't start scrolling through your Insta look at them for heaven's sakes, and give them a little respect.

 

S stands for smile. Smiling at people is all about letting them know that you're cool, friendly, and welcoming. So be courageous and smile.

 

H stands for help or Offering to Help. Adolescence is a time of individuation, a time where you're trying to figure yourself out, where you're growing and independence. But while you're doing this, don't forget other people. If someone needs a little help, don't turn a blind eye. Instead, step in. Be a positive force and while you're there, cash it. Compliment, ask questions, smile and help.

 

Okay, now that you've got things going, how do we keep it going? Well, the acronym SWIFT has the answers for you. And by the way, this acronym isn't about Taylor Swift. Even though you Swifties might really like that. And I suppose if that helps you to remember it, so be it. Anyways, I'm getting carried away. So let's get to the acronym Swift.

 

S stands for school. This is easy. Ask the person you're with about the school they go to, the classes they attend, if they're involved in activities, if they like their teachers, their principal, or the people in general, Start there.

 

W stands for work. Maybe the person you're meeting with has a job or works for their parents, or makes a little extra cash doing something. Ask them about it. What do they do? Do they want to stay there? Do they want to go somewhere else? Ask them about their boss, their coworkers?

  

I stands for interests. What do they do for fun? What kind of music do they like? What shows do they watch and like? what movies do they watch? Do they participate in sports in clubs? What kinds of things do they do when they're bored? Do they play any instruments? Do they do anything artistic? Go to town on this one and get to know people's interests.

  

F stands for friends. Friends are incredibly important for you and for the teens around you. Ask them about how they met each other. What do they do together? How long have they been friends and what do they like about them?

Friendships provide a critical value in people's lives. Don't isolate people from their friends and don't enter into competition with them. Encourage the people you care about to spend time with their friends instead of guilt tripping them every time they spend time with somebody else other than you.

 

T stands for tribe. Okay, I admit this one was a little bit of a stretch, but I couldn't find another word that started with T that kind of matched family. So your tribe is your family. Get to know that person’s tribe, Do they have siblings? Where did they fit in the family? What does their family like to do together? One quick suggestion even if your friend doesn't particularly like or is getting along with their family, don't ever speak negatively about their family. You can be an awesome friend and be supportive and encouraging, but don't speak badly about somebodies family.

 

So remember to compliment people, ask them questions, smile, and help them. That's the CASH.

When you're ready to get someone a little bit more, remember to ask questions about school, their work, their interests, their friends, and their tribe. That's SWIFT.

 

So all of you Swifties and non Swifties, I hope you all have an awesome day and remember to be a positive spark for others around you.