My dear friend, it’s awesome to be here with you… well done, for taking a moment to watch this short video. Your question is important… ‘why are there so many rules?... and I get it, because whether you’re talking about classroom rules, or school rules, or sports rules, or family rules, or road laws, or even etiquette rules - for example one of my boys just started playing tennis, and I learned that it’s a no-no to make noise while someone is in the act of serving, or that you’re not really supposed to cheer while a point is being played, you gotta wait! Rules change depending on the situation…for example in boxing or MMA, there’s no rule that prohibits you from throwing a haymaker at somebody’s face, but in basketball, or football, or soccer, or in a classroom, or in the middle of orchestra class…? That kind of behavior is not looked upon with a lot of excitement, and can actually have some pretty serious consequences… but in the National Hockey League, even though fighting is still punished with a penalty, it’s not really a big deal. So rules and laws change based on where you live, or go to school, or what activities you do.
I think there are a lot of good rules, and also some pretty silly rules that are unnecessary. Sometimes creativity and advancement require some bending and even breaking of rules. For example, in classical music there has been a musical progression from baroque, to classical, to romantic, and now to modern composition. To go from one phase to the other, rules had to be bent and broken, and as a result new styles of music emerged. Sometimes in education it’s the same way. What worked before, doesn’t necessarily work now.
By the way, just for fun, can I give you a short example of some incredibly meaningless laws and rules?
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For example in California it’s illegal to set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
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In Arkansas alligators must not be kept in bathtubs (so if that’s something you were looking forward to doing… don’t do it there)
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In Boise Idaho Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back. (that’s no bueno)
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In Kentucky every citizen is required to take a shower once a year. (gotta manage that hygiene, am I right?
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And in Kalamazoo, Minnesota, It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend. (so poets, musicians, and romantics, no serenating in Kalamazoo)
As you can see, there are some rules that are meaningless, and that don’t make a lot of sense. So why do we have rules? Let me give you 3 reasons
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To protect yourself and others: And maybe you don’t think a lot about that, but One good reason for rules is to keep people safe, and promote respect, whether it’s in a classroom, or walking down the halls of your school, or at a football game, or on the playground, rules are there to protect you and others physically, and also to protect your right to feel safe, or to get an education. Rules like
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No weapons in school
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No fighting
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Treat others with respect
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No yelling or screaming in class
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Raise your hand when you have a question
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Be on time
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Don’t damage property or break stuff
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Be honest
These rules are like lines on a soccer pitch, or a tennis court, or bumpers in a bowling alley, not only do they create some mental expectations, but they also keep us in the game. In some situations we have to know the rules, and learn to play and find success within those rules. I know we often think of rules in the negative “don’t do this, or don’t do that” in other words, we look at rules as restrictive, but rules also inspire action and creativity. Just because there’s an ‘out’ line on a football field, doesn’t mean that we can’t construct and run millions of creative and legendary plays within those lines. Like mister Jack Sparrow said “'The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem” as always my friend, your mindset and perspective about a thing, matters more than the thing itself. Remember that.
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To help people cooperate and keep things from slipping into chaos: I know that sounded a bit dramatic, but look, whether you’re playing monopoly, or engaging in war, or in orchestra, or taking a test, or driving on the road, or flying in the air… there are rules that we as people, that you as students, and as a society that we live by, that honestly make life so much simpler, smoother, and that actually afford us so much more freedom. There are rules in games that allow us play without having to fight every five seconds, because rules are flimsy and not well structured. How many of you would jump on an airplane, if there weren’t any rules about flying, and altitude, and coordinates, and if instead you just relied on luck to make sure you didn’t run into other planes? Imagine driving In LA or New York city, or even where you live without any traffic laws and rules, where you pretty much ‘do your own thing’ and fly by the seat of your pants… wow, talk about traffic jams, accidents, and road rage, am I right? Rules are like agreements, and when we all agree (like driving on the right side of the road or left side if you live in England), we can cruise, but when we don’t it gets messy.
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Rules promote success: I’ve been a soccer coach for a long time… honestly I love it, and to me there’s nothing more beautiful than when 11 players on the field move together as one. When every player plays their position, and engages in the system, that team becomes very difficult to beat, and more importantly, they move more confidently and score more consistently. When they are disconnected and start to break down on the fundamentals of soccer (aka our team rules), it turns into jungle ball, and all of a sudden, soccer is no longer the beautiful game. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but at your school there are some rules, right? Attendance rules, behavior rules, dress code rules, rules for your phone, rules about being prepared, about being respectful, about being considerate, about helping others, about being honest… there are rules, and maybe some of these rules “thou shalt not chew gum in thy class, or thou shalt not put thy feet upon thy desk” are less important than others, but these rules help you to play the beautiful game of life. And when you are willing to make basic agreements like, “yeah, not everything is about me, I’ll be considerate and respectful of other people… I’ll be honest… or, i’m not crazy about the dress code, but I can make an agreement about that… I’ll go to class and participate”, then things run smoothly and more effectively for everyone. The opposite is also true, if you choose to fight every single rule, just for the sake of resisting and being difficult, you’re going to cause yourself misery, and potentially others as well… and honestly, that doesn’t seem incredibly wise to me?
To be honest, I’m not here to try to convince you to just be this compliant, rule follower… instead, what I hope you will do, is use your highest intelligence to make the kinds of choices that will ultimately benefit you and others the very most. Sabotaging yourself and others is not a good strategy. It’s like the man who digs a hole, only to find himself falling into it, over, and over again. Why would we do that? What are we trying to prove? That we’re not going to obey the Man or the Woman. I agree with you… there are many cultural norms, and societal rules that are simply silly and honestly not helpful, and when you find those, sure, do something different, even become an activist for something that you truly believe. We are indebted to people who are courageous like that. People like Nelson Mandela, like Ghandi, like the Buddha, like Martin Luther King, like mother Teresa, like Oprah, like Jesus, like Taylor Swift… I was wondering if you were paying attention… but you know what, even Taylor had to break her own rules, and evolve as a musician, and if that girl were a man, she’d be the MAN… okay, I admit, i’ve gone too far.
So yes, if you see some rules that are harming you, harming others, that are hypocritical or discriminatory, that limit your ability to do good, to progress, to grow, to succeed, … then by all means, it’s time for you to begin having some conversations with the right people, and to begin pushing for some exceptions to the rules, or to get the rules changed all together. You’re not a robot! You’re not a sheep. You’re a lion, but even lions have rules. Be wise and choose to follow the rules that open doors for your future, and that contribute to others, and I dare say, you’ll be in good hands. Be wise, be intelligent, do things on purpose, instead of just accidentally. Ease up on your complaining, and instead offer up some solutions. Lift where you are, and you’ll reap an awesome life and awesome relationships. See you soon.