How can I develop a growth mindset?

How can I develop a growth mindset?

My friend, as always, I'm so impressed that you would make the effort to invest in upgrading your own mental game.

Listen, whether you're listening to this or reading it, I'm about to drop a bomb of truth and power on you today. I never tire of saying your psychology is everything. Your mindset, your ideas about life, the lenses that interpret the events in your life have an incredible impact on your success and happiness. And today, I'm going to be talking about helping you to recognize whether you're looking at life from a growth mindset or a fixed mindset kind of way. So in just a few seconds, I'm going to run you through a very simple quiz that you and I can answer in our heads to see where we're at.

Now, listen, don't be alarmed. I'm not about to slap some diagnosis on you. This is just a way for us to check ourselves, right? See where we are, where we can improve a little bit. Are you ready?

So here are some questions to help you. You don't have to impress me here. Just answer honestly to yourself. It's not about being wrong or right. I'm not judging you. It's more about discovering what the heck is going on inside your mind. So you can improve it. Right what I'm saying.

All right, so just think true or false to yourself. 

1) most of the time I appreciate when people parents, coaches or teachers give me feedback or criticism about my performance. Be honest here. True or false.

2) I believe that making mistakes and failing is a natural part of life, and any learning process. True or false.

3) I believe that people can improve their intelligence, their physical ability, their artistic ability, or any ability with effort. True or false.

4) When I'm in a challenging situation, I'm willing to stay with it and try different strategies. True or false?

5) I believe that the harder you work at something, the better you'll be. True or false.

6) When I don't understand something or I'm falling behind, I'm willing to ask for help. True or false.

7) I'm inspired by the success of others. True or false?

Awesome. Thanks for taking the time to think through that short little quiz.

So here's the skinny. If you answered most or all of those true, you're most likely looking at life through a growth mindset lens. If you answered a lot or all of those false, you're looking at your life from a fixed mindset perspective now my friend. Either way, this is wonderful news. If you're seeing life from a growth perspective, fantastic. If you're seeing life and have been living it from a fixed perspective, this is wonderful as well because we can shift that and expand the way that you see and interpret successes, failures, challenges and opportunities that will come before you.

Now, before I go into what exactly a growth mindset is and how to grow that kind of psychology and perspective inside of you, I want you to realize that I can recognize lots of fixed mindset inside of me, even at my own age. And certainly when I was younger, I remember that as a young boy, I definitely labeled myself as not as smart as other friends, are terrible at math or shy or not very good with people, certainly not good with girls, not really able to be successful. And today, as I meet with thousands of you amazing teenagers, I hear many of you labeling yourselves as well. You say things like, well, I'm just not creative, or I'm not very talented, or I'm not athletic or coordinated or musical or I'm not good at math or whatever school topic you choose to put in that little blank area, or I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not good with people, not good at taking tests. Or not very social or too insecure or school just isn't for me. You get the idea.

We label ourselves and others to death, and the first thing that you and I need to do is stop this insane process of placing barriers on ourselves and others. It's like putting yourself and others in a mental and physical prison. I'm about to free you from this poor mindset and level up your perspective. All right, let's get to it. What is growth mindset? Let's start there.

Growth mindset is a belief that you can develop and improve any ability and your intelligence through hard work, effort, perseverance, and learning from our mistakes and failures. The opposite of that, a fixed mindset, is the belief that your abilities, intelligence, and talents are just what you were born with and that no matter how hard you try, you can't really change them. As a result, people with fixed mindset often avoid challenges, give up easily, and see mistakes as proof that they're not smart or capable.

I'm certain that this is not a new topic for you. In fact, many of you have been hearing these messages in your schools for a while now, and this is good. The reason why people have been pushing this knowledge your way is because this is an incredible advantage for your personal life, and there is incredible evidence showing that when teens, just like you think in growth mindset kind of ways, that they're more successful academically in extracurricular activities and sports, in your relationships, and even with your mental fitness, something that you may even have heard in your school is the phrase “the power of YET.” have you heard of that?

The concept is easy, but it's powerful. Here's how it works. Think of the statement I'm not good at math, and then simply add yet at the end of that sentence. I'm not good with people yet. I'm not good at sports yet. I'm not very artistic yet. I'm not very good in school yet. I'm not very musical yet. I think you get the idea. Adding that yet at the end of each of those sentences allows you to see yourself in a confident, flexible and hopeful way. And that kind of optimism is life changing. People trust. Carol Dweck, who explored these two mindsets, described it as the tyranny of now versus the power of. Yet isn't she just brilliant, the tyranny of now? Meaning that I have to be good now. I have to get good grades now. I have to get into this team now. I have to be better socially right now. I have to belong right now. I hope you can see how the tyranny of now is a pressure cooker and a vibe killer, while the other keeps you optimistic, confident, and trying for longer periods of time.

So I want you to picture this growth and fixed mindset. Imagine yourself in a room. On one corner is the fixed mindset you and this fixed mindset you avoid challenges because it's not your thing or because you believe you're not good at it or this fixed mindset you. It's always focused on proving yourself or comparing or it doesn't take criticism or feedback well from others. It gets defensive, or it doesn't ask for help, when it doesn't understand you're struggling, or it's always trying to keep up appearances or blames others or circumstances for mistakes or failures. Or it believes that people are either good or talented or gifted and that others just aren't. Or it believes that people can't change their abilities, their talents, or their skills, or is threatened by the success of others, or avoid situations or skills because they're hard.

Now, on the other corner is the growth mindset. You and you lean into challenges you go for even when it's tough, because you know that that's how you grow. Or you're focused on improving yourself, not proving yourself. And I hope you see what I did there. Right now, you listen to feedback, even the tough stuff, because it helps you to level and that's what you're about. Growth is your grind, baby. You ask for help because when you struggle, it simply means I might need a little help here instead of seeing it as a sign of weakness. You care more about learning than looking perfect. You own your mistakes because when you own that, we can change and that's powerful. You believe that talent grows with effort, practice, and learning. No one is just born with it all. And you realize that your brain and skills grow with hard work, time and the right strategies. You're inspired by the success of others, and you use it as evidence that success is possible. And finally, you tackle hard things head on because, you know, the hard stuff is often where the growth is and where the satisfaction is as well.

So whenever you find yourself on that dark side of that mental room with that fixed mindset stuck, feeling hopeless, hypnotized by your fear and insecurities, I want you to break those chains and imagine yourself walking to the other side of that room and stepping into that mindset, that perspective that is full of power, confidence, opportunity, hope and optimism. Step into humility. Step into being a learner instead of someone who is constantly trying to prove that they're either smart or talented or gifted, or that they deserve this or that. And instead, let's get to work with complete confidence that with time, effort, and persistence you're going to see progress.

My awesome friend, I want you to realize that this growth mindset will transform the meaning of difficulty and failing for meaning that we're dumb, or just not good or not meant for something, to it meaning that you can grow, develop, get smarter, better, more talented, wiser, stronger, and ultimately more successful in your life. So pick yourself up from that fixed mindset corner and place yourself in that powerful, inspiring, and motivating perspective that is growth mindset. Little by little, my friend, catch yourself in that corner and slowly take steps towards a better life.

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