My friend I hope you’re doing ok and can I just say thank you for taking a moment to watch this short video. Honestly, I don’t think we say thank you enough to incredible teens like you. So… thank you for making my life better, and for inspiring me to be a better, more lively person… I mean it.
Look, you’ve probably heard me quote Tony Robbins in the past when he said that “it’s your decisions, not your conditions that determine your destiny.” in other words, it’s your choices, not your circumstances that will ultimately determine your future. I want you to desperately believe that, in part because I want you to feel powerful in your life, instead of powerless. I want you to know that when things happen, or when you make some legendary mistake… I want you to know that you are smart and brilliant enough to take positive steps, and make those situations better! I want to build your intelligence, so that you can act and choose in ways that create more freedom, more joy, more respect, and more opportunities for you. Instead of making choices that limit your freedom, create more drama, cause you to lose respect from others, and close doors of opportunity for you. Maya Angelou the great writer and poet once said “when you know better, you do better,” man, and she is right! I’m all about helping you make the kinds of choices that create an advantage for you.
So the question of the day is “Wreck it, or Respect it?” There are lots of ways that you and I can either wreck or respect where we are. Whether you’re at school, at home, in your town, at the library, at church, at a sporting event, or even with yourself! Are you going to wreck it, or respect it? Here are some examples of wrecking it:
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Throwing trash on the ground
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Putting gum under seats
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Writing or carving on your desk, or drawing graffiti on walls or mirrors
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Breaking stuff that’s not yours
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Vandalizing bathrooms or someone else’s property
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Carving on trees or cliffs, or rocks in state parks or wilderness areas
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Not taking care of things that are yours, or your family’s.
There are a million ways that you and I can wreck things, and honestly I don’t need to list them all, I think you get what I’m talking about. Can I also just briefly say that some of these actions, btw, have serious consequences that can cost you a lot of money, and even some of your freedom. I’m not here to scare you, I respect you too much, and I realize that ultimately you are the one making the decisions in your life, but man I also have to be real with you, and more importantly I want you to be intelligent and make the kinds of decisions that elevate your life, and not land you in the back of a police car, or in detention, are you kidding me? Anyways, have you ever thought of why you or other people would do things like this? I’ve got a few ideas, see if some of these make sense to you:
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Other people are doing it: I know this is a little cliche, but honestly, if people around you are doing something, you feel better and more justified in doing it. You know, it’s the whole “If all of your friend’s were jumping off a bridge, would you jump as well?” Well… apparently the answer to that question is yeah! Some of us would jump, and some of us do make unwise decisions just because of the people we are vibing with.
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We justify our actions: In other words, we give ourselves reasons for why it’s ok to do what we are doing. Here are some of those:
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“People don’t care or respect me, why should I respect them?”
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“It’s not a big deal,” or “I’m not hurting anyone,” or “this school sucks anyways”
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“There’s nothing better to do”
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Or “It’s not like I’m the only one doing these things.” These kinds of ideas and thoughts, often lead to actions. Remember, ideas grow into attitudes and actions.
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It’s cool to not care: I think this is a pretty common reason. I realize that sometimes you may feel that it’s cool to be a little edgy, and not just main stream or vanilla, and so sometimes we do destructive, unwise, and harmful things to create a tough image, or so that other people know that you’re not some ‘goody two shoes’ that follows all the rules… cause what’s the fun in that, right? I think sometimes in our desire to stand out, or to be liked, or to be respected, we do things that don’t match our most intelligent and best ideas. What do you think? Does this feel a little familiar to you? It does to me!
But you know what, I’m not just here to tell you what not to do, because honestly I can do better than that. It’s more about what to do, and about you having the kind of psychology or perspective that will make your life better. Here are a few pro tips to help you stay out of trouble, and make awesome decisions:
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Get involved: Here’s the deal, there are a lot of cool ways for you to be involved in your school, in your home, and in your community. Instead of saying no to those opportunities and pushing yourself out of those circles, find cool and small ways to be involved where you are. Join a team, a club, a group, go to games, plays, concerts,church, and activities, be helpful in your home, and do yourself a huge favor and become a part of things. This will not only bring you more fun, more happiness, more friendship opportunities, but also help you feel like you’re a part of things. When we feel disconnected from school, at home, or in our community, we don’t really care about those things, and not caring is fertile ground for poor decisions. Do you think that’s true? Can I give you a small suggestion? Don’t come up with reasons and excuses to push yourself out of good places, instead, come up with reasons to join in and make your life better. Give it a go!
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Be thankful: This may sound unrelated but it isn’t. When you look for ways to be thankful where you are, I guarantee that you will treat yourself, others, and your situation in a better way. The opposite is also true. When you believe that you’re being taken advantage of, disrespected, or like your situation sucks, many times you will act in those same ways. Remember, it’s your decisions, not your conditions, and like Russel Nelson said “The joy you feel has little to do with the circumstances of your life and everything to do with the focus of your life.” So train your mind, your heart, and your eyes to see the good that is around you, and watch your attitude and actions change. Give it a shot!
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Leave things the same, or better than they were: Someone once told me, “when you meet someone, you have three options. You can either leave people worse off, the same, or better than they were.” Make it your personal motto to leave things better than they were, and I promise, your life and relationships will be so much better. Now use that same idea, but just apply it to where you are. Start in your bedroom, in your home. Then keep that goodness going in your classroom, at your school, in your community, or when you go to a game or concert. Leave things a little better than they were. It’s not hard for you to pick up a piece of paper from the ground and put it in the trash can. It’s not hard to make your bed. It’s not hard for you to do some dishes or to help someone. Start small, but start, and I guarantee that you will feel more happy, more of the time. Trust!
My hard rockin’ amigo, it’s all about you making the kinds of choices that elevate and create an advantage in your life. So the next time you think about breaking, disrespecting, vandalizing, or graffitiing things, be brave and courageous enough to choose something different. Don’t make life harder for yourself, or for those around you. Be cool, and stay in school!