Are you a good sport?

Are you a good sport?

You amazing people, I hope this finds you feeling good, but if you're not, I hope this short video raises your spirit, and helps you to Bring It wherever you are. So many of you text us and speak to us about your participation in sports, choir, orchestra, debate, and other forms of activities that at times involve competing against others, or even against yourselves.

Can I just say how much I love watching people perform and compete. I love the entire process. I love the practice, the psychology of it, the blood, sweat, and tears that are necessary for you to evolve and perform at whatever level. I love the passion, the effort, the teamwork, and the lifelong friendships that many times arise from such activities. When you work hard and sacrifice with someone, I find that you forge a bond with those people that is much deeper. If you are involved in any of these things, kudos to you, and I hope that it's been a stellar experience for you. If you're not involved, can I gently suggest for you to be involved in something... anything that moves your body, that engages your mind, that fosters relationships with others, that creates beauty, and that forces you to expand and go deeper into a skill set. My friends, I desperately want you to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, and participating in fun and challenging activities such as the ones that I described, are a significant part of your present and future happiness, and can bring you a feeling of purpose and meaning to your life. Please consider it.

Now as much as I adore these activities, I recognize that sometimes there is a dark side to competition and performance. Whether it's parents losing their minds and yelling ridiculous things at their own children, at players, at other fans, or at referees. Whether it's players disrespecting other players, cheap shooting them, fighting, and being dishonest. Or whether we are disrespecting and mistreating ourselves, and making our lives miserable because of the unhealthy and unrealistic amount of pressure that we are placing on ourselves. Listen, I realize that performing at any level is a double edged sword, on one end you feel the excitement and overwhelming joy of victory, or performing at a high level, and of course on the other side you are experiencing the sorrow of defeat, or a performance below what you were hoping for. This is living courageously, but it can sometimes feel like an emotional roller coaster. More and more you see athletes and other performers talk about their Mental Health, their psychology, and their mindset, and that's, of course, because your mindset... your psychology is such an undeniably critical part to how you perform before, during, and after any event. If you haven't watched some of our videos on sports psychology, growth mindset, and positive psychology, go find them and watch them. Those are proven strategies to help you improve your performance, and keep the highest levels of joy and resilience. But that's not why we are here, we are here to talk about sportsmanship, and how you and I can compete fiercely, and still be honorable in victory and defeat. To help you learn, remember, and stay focused on these skills, I created a fun acronym for you... well, i think it's pretty cool.

BRING IT! It's cool right? At least it sounds that way. Let me show you what it stands for
BR - Stands for BE RESPECTFUL
I - Stands for INSPIRE OTHERS
N - Stands for NURTURE TEAM WORK
G - Stands for GIVE YOUR BEST
IT - Stands for INTEGRITY TOGETHER

Before I go into each part of this acronym, can I briefly talk about acting in unsportsmanlike ways, and why we do it? My friends, knowledge is power, and if you are able to recognize some of these behaviors and attitudes in yourself, maybe you will be wise enough to consider enjoying these awesome activities in a more respectful and sportsmanlike way. Here are some of the reasons for your disrespectful behavior or unsportsmanlike actions:

1. You Are Emotionally Invested: When you become overly invested in a team, player, or outcome, that almost always leads to more intense reactions and behaviors. This also leads you to see circumstances in a really biased and incomplete way, for example, you fiercely deny any of your teams fouls or mistakes, but exaggerate any mistake or foul that the other team makes.
2. The Competitive Environment: The competitive nature of sports can sometimes bring out the worst in people, as they prioritize winning over fair play and sportsmanship.
3. You Fall Into Negative Peer Pressure: Whether you are watching others being verbally abusive to referees, players, or opposing fans, or even if you feel it's part of the culture of the activity you're performing, you're going to feel pressured to conform to the actions of others, even if that involves acting in ways that disrespect others and yourself. There is a way for you to be a part of the awesome environment surrounding a performance or sporting event, and yet retain your own personal integrity to your highest values and morals.
4. You're Looking for Attention or Recognition: Whether you're looking to go along with the crowd, or you want to appear cool, or tough, or even display loyalty to your team or person, we sometimes engage in disrespectful and unsportsmanlike behavior to gain attention or recognition from our friends.
5. You Become Frustrated or Disappointed: When you don't perform the way you wished, when your team loses, or a call doesn't go your way, or when things don't go as expected, our frustration and disappointment can lead you and I to act in ways that are unkind, disrespectful, and unsportsmanlike.

Did you see yourself in any of these behaviors or attitudes? I sure did! Look, when we sacrifice our time, effort, and energy for something, we become emotionally involved in that something, and that can sometimes create a really black and white, or all or nothing mentality in each of us. This often creates an US vs THEM and win at all costs type of mindset, which many times provokes poor behavior, a negative psychology within us, and honestly, poor outcomes.

Alright, now that you understand a little better why you are doing the things you do, let's build some of your sportsmanlike muscles, and still bring all of your hype, enthusiasm, awesomeness, fierceness, and loyalty to the table, and perform in a way that would make you and your family proud, during and after any event, circumstance, or game. Trust me, there is a way to do that... to be loyal to your team, and also respectful to others. There is a way for you to be fierce and honorable... for you to have some swagger, and confidence, while also displaying great sportsmanship... for you to give it all you have, and to do it in an honest way. Bruh, listen, the world needs this! Your school, your town, needs it. We need people who are willing to lead the way, and to show that we can handle the pressure, and still retain the best of us. I'm asking you to lead the way, instead of following any behavior that degrades, disrespects, or mocks other people. Man, I don't know where we get off saying the kinds of things we say to players, performers, referees, etc... Do we think those people aren't human? Do we think that just because they're performing, playing a match, or in the arena, that we can just dig into them, and throw the worst of us at them, and that that won't somehow impact them? Man, we have to do better... we have to step outside of ourselves a little bit, and recognize that our impact is greater than we think. I desperately want you to bring the hype, the passion, the zeal, even your ridiculousness, but leave your rudeness, your verbal abuse, and your disrespect at home... actually don't leave it at home, leave it somewhere where you won't find it again, and make a commitment to be loyal to the human race. What say you? Does that feel doable to you? Well, let's dig into that acronym and give you a fun way to remember some tools for you.

The word is BRING IT!
BR - Stands for BE RESPECTFUL: At the core of being respectful to other people, is the idea that other people around you, your competitors, your opponents are human beings like you. They are not demons or aliens that you don't relate to. These are your people. They think, feel, dream, hope, and fear much the same way you do. Listen to me, your happiness in this life is directly linked to your ability to love and serve people such as these. Your joy in life is intrinsically connected to your ability to have relationships with people, so learn to bring the very best of you to every interaction.
I - Stands for INSPIRE OTHERS: I'm sure that even at your young age, you've already been kicked in the teeth, and punched in your mouth by life. Sadness, loss, disappointment awaits all of us. None of us will escape it. In this, you too, are just like everyone else. We all need an encouraging word... a voice that comforts us, that raises us, and that encourages us to move forward despite the struggle. My challenge to you is to be that voice. Celebrate your victories, and raise others at the same time. Mourn your losses, and wish others well at the same time. I know what I'm asking... I'm asking you to be more than what you are... It's almost superhuman... well, we're all a little obsessed with Marvel and DC these days, maybe it's time for us to raise our humanity, to a higher level... you up for it? Let's be a little more.
N - Stands for NURTURE TEAM WORK: Here again, I'm going to ask you to shift your perspective and paradigm away from a "You do You," or "get what's yours", or "I'm gonna do my own thing..." to one of "We Win and Lose as a Team" or "We're All in", or "One Team, One Dream." I realize that some of you may compete in more individual events, but even then, you most likely have a coach, or a teacher, and others who are looking to succeed as well, so use your super powers, and nurture teamwork around you. Hear me out, there is no doubt that there is power in numbers. When a team or group joins together, there is a beautiful synergy that happens, and when that occurs, there are few things more beautiful than to see a team raise one another to a whole other level. So step outside of your own self-centeredness, and instead, step into your ability to be selfless and to contribute to a cause that is greater than just ourselves.
G - Stands for GIVE YOUR BEST: My hard rockin' amigos, learn to give the best of yourself. Here are some fun expressions that describe what I'm talking about: "Full Send", or "Leave it all on the field," or "Empty the tank," or "hold nothing back." I've coached a lot of teams, and seems 100's if not 1000's of performances, and I've seen people rise to the occasion and give it all they had, and I've also watched others who are quick to give up. Listen, in the end, you end up deciding whom you will be... your character, and how you're going to show up everyday. But just as your friend, can I suggest that you learn and train yourself to bring your best more often, and for longer periods of time? Trust me, it will work out best for you.
IT - Stands for INTEGRITY TOGETHER. When you're part of a team, what you do, and what others do matters. What you say matters. Having integrity together means that we all encourage ourselves to live at a higher level. To stick to certain principles that help us succeed. To align our actions and behaviors to match our highest ideals. Regardless of the outcome, be the voice in your group, team, squad, or club that encourages people to act in ways that match our best ideas. This is the path of leadership, and I realize that sometimes it can be a lonely path, but man, it's a good path.

My joyous amigo, once you understand things better. Once your perspective is enlightened, and you can see the reasoning behind why you do what you do, and perhaps why we can do better, we can't go back. When we know better, we want to do better, and that's what I'm hoping you'll do with this information. I hope you take it, and raise your own game, and as a result, I hope you can raise the tide around you as well. Good luck and see you soon.

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