3 Tips for the Holidays
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Complicated feelings
The holiday season is a unique time of year. For some, it’s filled with joy and celebration. For others, it can be challenging, bringing up complicated feelings or stressful situations. Sometimes, it feels like both at once. No matter how you or your family observe the holidays, there are always ways to take the reins and shape the experience into something positive. It’s about focusing on what is within your control and using that power to make things a little better.
Think of it as an opportunity to start fresh, to build new traditions, or to improve upon old ones. The goal isn’t perfection, but progress. Even a small shift in perspective or action can make a significant difference. This holiday season, try shifting focus outward.
Look for small, simple ways to help family, friends, and even strangers without any expectation of getting something in return. This isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about tuning your eyes to see the needs right in front of you. Maybe that means cleaning your room without being asked, helping with dinner clean-up, vacuuming the living room, or setting the table.
The act itself is less important than the intention behind it. Give willingly and with a cheerful attitude. The key is to place the needs of others as equal to your own, even just for a little while. Try being a "secret giver." Don’t look for a thank you or for anyone to notice. There’s a powerful idea in simply giving and then letting it go, not keeping score. When you give freely, because it’s a good thing to do, you often receive much more in return, even if it’s just a sense of connection and purpose. It’s a reminder that you’re never alone when you choose to be someone who contributes.
Practice kindness
Make a conscious decision to be a little kinder and friendlier. This applies to how you treat others and how you treat yourself. A kind word, a genuine compliment, a thank you, or an apology can change the tone of an entire day. This also involves a crucial shift in focus: stop seeking to be valued by others and start focusing on being valuable.
Pour energy into actions that are helpful, supportive, and kind. When the goal is to contribute value, the need for constant external recognition fades. Ironically, this shift often leads to becoming more valued naturally. It’s a courageous perspective that puts you in control of your actions and their impact. So, make an effort to be a source of light. Offer that kindness freely, not as a transaction, but as a way of building the life you want to live.
Plan for fun
Don’t leave fun to chance or assume someone else will organize it. Take ownership of your enjoyment. Plan activities with family and friends. When someone suggests doing something, playing a game, going to see holiday lights, watching a movie, try to say "YES." Participate. Send the text back. Show up.
Contribute to the fun instead of waiting to be entertained. The world doesn’t revolve around any one person, so be a creator of good times. Be the person who helps get a game started, or who simply agrees to join in. By taking an active role, you stop waiting for life to be handed to you and start making it happen.
The power of forgiveness
As the year ends and a new one begins, it’s a natural time for resetting. One of the most powerful tools for personal growth is forgiveness, both of others and of yourself. Building a mindset that can forgive is not weak or naive; it’s incredibly powerful. People who practice forgiveness report feeling happier, less stressed, more in control, and better in their relationships.
Forgiveness is about letting go of the bitterness, anger, or ill will that can poison your own life. It’s taking back control. It helps to see everyone, yourself included, as learning and stumbling through life, trying to find happiness. Mistakes are normal. The ability to repair relationships through apology and forgiveness is a critical skill.
What forgiveness Is NOT
It is not forgetting. Your brain will likely remember, and that’s okay. You can forgive and still remember. It is not condoning. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you agree with what they did or give them permission to do it again. It is not ignoring harm. You can acknowledge that something hurtful happened while still choosing to move forward with your life.
Steps toward forgiveness
Commit to the idea: Decide to be a forgiving person. See it as an act of courage and intelligence that benefits your life.
Allow yourself time: There’s no deadline. Feeling hurt for a while doesn’t mean you’re failing at forgiveness.
Acknowledge what happened: Talk about it with a trusted adult, friend, counselor, or write about it. What is talked about can be controlled; what is hidden controls us.
Make a plan: If bitterness is persistent, plan to get help from a parent, school counselor, or other trusted adult to work through it.
Your life is a series of endings and beginnings. You can always shift gears and start anew. Be brave enough to talk, to ask for help if you need it, and to take courageous steps toward letting go. Build an awesome and beautiful life, not just during the holidays, but all year round.
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