How can I stop overthinking?

How can I stop overthinking?

My friend the fact that you’re even here says something awesome about you. It means your mind’s open and you actually care about leveling-up. And honestly? That’s a huge advantage in school, friendships, sports — life in general.

I think you’re going to find that being coachable and humble is elite behavior. So keep tapping into things that inspire you, and that educate that lovely brain of yours.  Anyway — back to your fire question: 'What Are Some Ways to Help With Overthinking?' First of all, that’s a 10/10 question. But let me flip it real quick… does overthinking have to be a negative thing?"

I remember having a discussion with a teen about this very thing.  He told me “I overthink too much” and I asked him “Is that a bad thing?”  He looked at me kinda funny, and said “yeah, I think about all the things that could go wrong, and all the possible ‘what if’ scenarios, and in the end I just end up feeling like junk, and then I don’t do anything!”  It’s obvious why he wasn't loving his overthinking.  When people refer to overthinking, they’re usually not talking about a positive thing.  In Psychology we call this negative overthinking ‘Catastrophizing.’  Catastrophizing is when your mind jumps to the worst possible outcome, or when you imagine or tell yourself that situations are going to end up badly for you and others.  Mark Twain (the famous author, and honestly somewhat of a philosopher) said “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”  Our lovely brains sometimes love to spend a lot of energy worrying about how things can and will go wrong.  Sometimes our brains will time travel to the past, and find all of our failures, all of our rejections, mistakes, and simply project those to the future.  In other words, we end up thinking that just because something happened in the past, that it’s going to happen now, and in the future as well… but my friends, this simply isn’t true.  In fact, this is called “generalizing” and it’s one of your brain’s favorite little tools to use, that sometimes is really useful, and sometimes not so much.  But let’s get back to overthinking and catastrophizing, and what we can do to learn, and teach our brain a much better set of skills that don’t lead us to feeling unmotivated, nervous, and pessimistic about the present and future.  

My friend, the goal is for you to go into this world with confidence!  To know that you can grow, learn anything, and be awesome to yourself and others.  I’m not just trying to hype you up, or get you to feel good, I want you to internalize this truth, so that when you catch your brain overthinking in a negative way, and filling you with doubt and discouragement; I want you to be able to respond with intelligence, with reason, and proven strategies.   So… what can you do when your brain is overthinking in a negative way?  

1 - Step one is simply to recognize that your brain is overthinking and to call it out:  In other words it’s thinking to yourself, “Oh, I’m overthinking right now -or- I’m catastrophizing again, -or- my brain is locked in on pessimism right now.”  There is this little quote that says “if you can name it, you can tame it,” this just means that the moment you recognize that something is happening, and you can call it what it is, this immediately gives you extra power to overcome it… it’s a little like magic.  I promise you, this may sound simple, but this first step is money! 

2- Step two, Take some positive steps:  Step two is all about learning to shift the gears inside your head.  I sometimes use this example to help people understand overthinking.  Can you imagine revving up the engine in a car that is in neutral?  It’s basically just a lot of noise, with not a lot of progress right?  Overthinking is a bit like this.  Your brain is making a lot of noise, but it’s not really moving you in a positive or helpful direction.  In other words, sometimes our brains get stuck overthinking, which can create a lot of nervousness, discouragement, and fear.  This fear paralyzes us, and keeps us from moving forward.   So how do you shift gears inside your head?  I’ll give you a hint… it’s not by overthinking your overthinking.  In other words, Don’t try to fight your thoughts, with more thoughts.  Instead… physically do something that is fun, productive, with people, helpful, engaging, and that you think is good.  This is how you put your brain in gear, and overcome your overthinking.  Last but not least, step number 3 is…

3-Ask better questions, and get better answers:  Let me teach you a brain hack. Your brain is like a dog chasing a stick.  Have you ever seen a dog get locked in on food, or a tennis ball, or something else, and whenever you move that ball or throw that stick, they explode into action?  Your brain is a little like this with questions.  When you ask your brain a question, your brain is going to go looking for a solution to that question.  So when you ask the question “what if I bomb this test?” or “what if I don’t make the team?” or if you tell your brain that no matter what you do, things aren’t going to get better.  When we tell our brain these things, our brain, like that dog, goes to work finding answers to those questions.  So the hack here is to ask better questions that move and inspire you to take positive steps, instead of falling into the black hole of negative overthinking.  Try asking:

• What can I do right now that would be helpful?

• or fun? 

• or that I would feel proud of?

• Or that would improve my grades?

• Or that would help my family or friends?

• Or that’s good for my body, or mind, or soul?

And then take action! I believe it was Tony Robbins that once said, and I’m paraphrasing here “the quickest way to shift the way you feel, is to physically do something!”  So once again, don’t stay stuck in the couch or lying on your bed, trying to mentally tug-of-war against your brain, instead, do something that you believe is fun, good, intelligent, adventurous, cool, kind, awesome, and something that builds your social circle, your mind, and your body.  Don’t… don’t let your overthinking, and your fear drive the decisions in your life.  

My awesome friends.  We’ve all been there.  Everyone either has, or will deal with negative overthinking.  So, when you find yourself in neutral, battling your brain, spinning your wheels, doing a lot of brain revving and creating all sorts of mental noise up there that is not useful or inspiring, you know it’s time to 1)Call it what it is, 2)Take some positive steps, and 3)ask better questions that help you, instead of trapping you in the quicksand of negative thinking.  Anyways, you get the idea, small steps, small actions, small shifts in your thinking, can lead to awesome outcomes.  Well, let’s go to work, and Shift!!  Have an awesome day!

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