How do I tell someone I'm interested in them?
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Rethink rejection
Figuring out how to let someone know you’re romantically interested in them can feel like one of the most stressful parts of high school. The fear of looking like a complete weirdo or facing rejection often stops people from saying anything at all. But putting your feelings out there doesn’t have to be a terrifying, all-or-nothing moment.
A lot of the anxiety around sharing feelings comes from how rejection is framed in your mind. It’s easy to imagine a worst-case scenario where a person scoffs or walks away. But that’s rarely what happens. Chances are, you’re actually afraid of discomfort, awkwardness, or a bruised ego.
Don’t go into these interactions expecting a simple yes or no answer. Use them to gauge whether your level of interest matches someone else’s. Sometimes feelings align perfectly, and sometimes they don’t. One person might be at an 8/10 while the other is at a 5/10, and that’s completely normal. Matching feelings is the exception, not the rule. That’s why it feels so great when it happens.
If you approach someone and their feelings don’t align, that’s not a rejection of your value or character. It’s simply a mismatch. Keeping that in mind takes some of the pressure off and makes the conversation feel less like a high-stakes test.
Don’t let fear call the shots
Fear has a way of making small moments feel enormous. It whispers that if things don’t work out now, they never will. That kind of thinking locks people into a "this is my only chance" mindset. But realistically, there will be many people to connect with over time. One mismatched feeling isn’t the end of the road. Fear can also make situations feel much worse in the head than they actually are in real life. Leaning into things that are a little uncomfortable builds confidence. You might not be able to get rid of fear entirely. If that’s the case, just recognize it and move forward anyway.
Patient approach
If you prefer to test the waters before making a big declaration of your feelings, the patient approach is a solid choice. This method involves spending time with the person, texting, being a good friend, and showing genuine interest in their life.
Pay attention to who initiates conversations and hangouts. If one person is always making the first move, that might be a clue about where their interest level sits. Taking this approach doesn’t mean you just sit around waiting for the other person to make the first move. Instead, actively build a connection while observing how the other person responds. Sometimes feelings grow naturally over time, and the question answers itself without a formal confession.
Direct approach
For those who prefer clarity, being direct is the way to go. The key is to do it with class and respect. Before saying anything, remember that the goal is to share feelings, not to demand an answer. Set the conversation up in a way that lowers the pressure for both people. Start by acknowledging the friendship and explaining that it’s important. Then, share the feelings simply and honestly.
Let the other person know there’s no pressure to feel the same way. Something like, "I really value our friendship, and I’ve started to feel like I might like you as more than a friend. I wanted to be honest about that, but I totally respect however you feel."
This approach shows confidence and maturity. It gives the other person space to respond honestly without feeling cornered. Even if the feelings aren’t mutual, handling it this way improves the chances of your friendship remaining intact and leaves no room for regret about never speaking up. Whether taking the slow route or going for a direct conversation, the most important part is making a move with the right mindset. It’s not about winning someone over or avoiding rejection. It’s about being honest and finding out if a connection is mutual. That’s a brave thing to do at any age.
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