Can being too honest be a bad thing?
Howdy friends, I wish I could be right there where you are to answer your question about whether being too honest is a bad thing. Can I begin by just sharing a short true story?
Years ago a community of people wanted to build an important and significant building. They wanted to build a strong and resilient structure that would last forever. The work began of course with the foundation. After several years of hard work passed, building that foundation, it was discovered that some of the sandstone foundational blocks had cracks in it. They thought about just replacing the fractured blocks, but the final decision was made, and instead, they completely dug out the entire sandstone foundation, and instead replaced it with 16 foot, thick granite footings. The building, rebuilding, and construction of the foundation alone took 14 years to complete, but as a result of that gargantuan effort, today, a beautiful building that is the center piece of that community stands there, and will most likely stand there forever, built upon that solid foundation.
My wise friends, even now, you are building a kind of foundation for your own life. A foundation for your character, for what you will be known by, and more importantly for the kind of person that you choose to be... and make no mistake... you are the one who chooses. Always remember what Tony Robbins said, that "It's Your Decisions, Not Your Conditions that determine your destiny" in other words, it's your choices baby, not your circumstances that will ultimately shape your future. Now in this foundation of yours, in these granite blocks that you are placing to support your life, you may choose to place values and principles such as courage, Positivity, friendliness, hard work, compassion, kindness, persistence, gratitude, humility, self-discipline, generosity, selflessness, optimism, fun... and to this list, I hope that today you will consider adding Honesty, and Integrity.
Now listen, when I say honesty, I'm talking about you being the kind of person that is sincere... that speaks the truth... that admits to mistakes and takes ownership for things they've done... I'm talking about when you sign a piece of paper, or make a promise, or make an agreement or commitment, it means that you follow through, or make your very best effort to do so. It means that if you make an agreement with your coach to be at practice, then you do everything in your power to get there. It means if you tell your orchestra teacher, or choir director, or teammates, or boss, or friends or parents that you're going to do something... it means that you'll pull through and do the very best you can to do that. It means that if you sign a piece of paper saying you won't cheat, or use chat gpt, or the test of the person sitting next to you, or look at the book or your notes during a test... it means that you don't. My friend don't cheat, don't steal, and don't sell your character... your trustability... your reputation for pennies, because it's worth a fortune!
I mean, be reasonable with me... does honesty and integrity not sound like something that you would want to install in that operating system of yours... in that foundation? Honestly, I don't even care about your past, what you've said, done, your current reputation, the mistakes or broken promises you've already made... I've made my share, and so has everyone else in that room where you sit... what I'm suggesting and challenging you to do, starting today, is to be more truthful, and to have integrity to that truth, meaning that you take my challenge, build up your courage, and speak truthfully even when it is difficult. Especially when it's difficult. What I'm suggesting is that you start where you are, and do what you can... I trust you... I trust that there is a process to things. I trust that you can start to take small steps today that move you in the direction of being someone that can be trusted, relied upon, and respected... just begin, and go forward.
Can I share one quick benefit of being honest and having integrity? In psychology there is a concept called 'self-betrayal.' Have you ever heard of that?... Self-betrayal happens when we act in ways that go against our own beliefs, our best values, or what we know to be right. It's like letting ourselves down by betraying what we stand for, or the kind of person we want to be. This can happen when you're trying to fit into a certain group of people, or when you're pressured by friends to do, or watch, or listen to certain things you don't want to. Or maybe this happens during a stressful or difficult time, and instead of acting in ways that match that foundation we've been talking about, instead you choose dishonesty, rudeness, disrespect, petty and jealous behavior, gossip, or whatever betrays or goes against the very best of you.
Now hear me out... we all do this! I'm certainly not singling you out. I'm teaching you this so that you can identify it... so that when you see yourself going off course into la-la land, and down some weird and strange road... when you see this happen, you can courageously and patiently redirect that car of yours toward your goals, your objectives, and those things that matter more. When we 'betray ourselves' we often feel ashamed, disappointed, embarrassed, guilty, disconnected from ourselves, and we may even lose some self-respect. We can't avoid all of these things... none of us are perfect, the goal and objective is growth and progress. So, like the character Polonius, in Shakespear's famous play 'Hamlet' said "To Thine Own Self Be True." In other words, don't be false... or dishonest with yourself or others. Do the best you can to align your values, beliefs, and character, with your behavior.
Here are four more benefits to being true and honest:
- Trust is money in the bank! Isabella Cooper said "Trust is the currency... (or money) of relationships; spend it wisely, for its value can make or break the bonds we cherish." Let me unpack this for you. When you act with integrity and honesty, it's like depositing money into the emotional bank account of your friends, your teammates, teachers, parents, and siblings... and my friend you don't you don't want to be bankrupt or in the red, instead you want to do what AC/DC says and be "Back in Black" or in the black... adding money to that 'trust bank account.' Look, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that honesty is key to building and keeping trust in relationships. People, it's about your connections. Your present and future relationships, will significantly impact your academic success, and your future professional success. So start today by challenging yourself to being more truthful and full of integrity.
- More honesty leads to more happiness, less stress, and less anxiety. Adding more honesty to your communication, behavior, and relationships can be a powerful boost for your mental fitness. Studies show that when you choose honesty, you're not just lightening your conscience; you're also shedding layers of stress and anxiety. By being honest and having integrity, you're freeing your mind from the weight and worry that always follows lies and deceit, and instead you'll be paving the way for more genuine connections and inner peace... and peace my friends, is the sincere desire of the human soul.
- Self respect. Being honest isn't just about telling the truth; it's about honoring yourself and what you stand for. When you stay true to your values and beliefs, you're not only building self-respect but also shaping a strong foundation for your personal integrity. This isn't just about feeling good about yourself; it's about living a life that aligns with who you truly want to be, bringing you more joy, more confidence, and a deeper, longer lasting sense of happiness and fulfillment... and who doesn't want that? Answer... 'no one'
- Academic and professional success. My glorious amigos, I am on a mission to provide you with every possible advantage so that you can seize the present and future days, and in the professional world, honesty is like a golden ticket to long-term success. Employers are always looking for people who act with integrity, honesty, and reliability, because they know that honesty breeds trust and respect. The same is true for you right there in your classroom with your personal work, and in your relationships with teachers, coaches, and Principals. Honesty really is the best policy!
So my friends, take a quick and honest look at the foundation you're building today, and that you've been building over the past years. Are you building your personal foundation out of straw and sticks like the 2 unwise little piggies, or are you building it out of granite, cement, and bricks, like the wise pig... be that pig!... and don't take that the wrong way! Now get out there and build! See you.
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