Developing a Growth Mindset
My friend, as always I'm over the moon excited to have you here. I'm so impressed that you would make the effort to grow, to develop, to invest a little in your psychology. Listen, whether you're listening to this or reading it, I'm about to drop a bomb of truth and power on you today. I never tire of saying it, your psychology is everything... your mindset... your ideas about life... the lenses that interpret the events in your life have an incredible impact on your success, and happiness, and today I'm going to be talking about helping you recognize whether you have a growth mindset, or a fixed mindset... and let me tell you the consequences of choosing and developing one over the other are critical and will have a dramatic and immediate impact over your life. Please, please, please trust me. So I told you that I was going to help you to figure out which mindset you are operating out of right now... so here are some questions to help you, now hear me out... you don't have to impress me here... just answer honestly. It's not about being wrong or right, I'm not judging you, it's more about discovering what the heck is going on inside your mind, so that you can improve it... know what I'm saying? So just think, True or F
Most of the time, I appreciate when people, parents, coaches, or teachers give me feedback or criticism about my performance? Be honest here... True or False
I believe that making mistakes and failing is a natural part of life and any learning process? True or False?
I believe that people can improve their intelligence, their physical ability, their artistic ability, or any ability with effort? True or False?
When I'm in a challenging situation, I'm willing to stay with it, and to try different strategies? True or False?
I believe that the harder you work at something, the better you'll be? True or False?
When I don't understand something, or I'm falling behind, I am willing to ask for help? True or False?
I'm inspired by the success of others? True or False?
Awesome, thanks for taking the time to think through that short little quiz... so here's the skinny, if you answered most or all of those true, you possess a strong Growth Mindset... if you answered a lot or all of those false... you're looking at your life from a fixed mindset perspective. Now my friend, either way, this is wonderful news. If you're seeing life from a growth perspective, fantastic, if you're seeing life and have been living it from a fixed perspective... this is wonderful as well, because we can shift it, and expand the way you see and interpret the successes, failures, challenges, and opportunities that will come before you. Now, before I go into what exactly what a growth mindset is and how to grow that kind of psychology and perspective inside of you, I want you to realize that I can recognize lots of fixed mindsets inside of me, even at my age, and certainly when I was younger. I remember that as a young boy, I definitively labeled myself as
- Not as smart as my other friends
- Terrible at math
- Shy or not very good with people
- Not good with girls
- Not really able to be successful
And I hear many of you labeling yourselves as
- Not creative
- Not talented
- Not athletic
- Not Coordinated
- Not Musical
- Not good at Math or whatever school topic you choose to put into that spot
- Not good enough
- Not smart enough
- Not good with people
- Not very social
- Too insecure
- School just isn't for me
You get the idea, we label ourselves and others to death, and the first thing that you and I need to do, is stop this insane process, of limiting ourselves, our potential, by placing upon ourselves these limiting and arresting ideas... well today, I'm about to free you from this poor mindset, and exalt your perspective. Ok, lets get to it... what is Growth Mindset?
Growth Mindset is a belief that you can develop and improve any ability, and your intelligence through hard work, effort, perseverance, and learning from our errors and failures. I'm certain that this is not a new topic for you, in fact many of you have been hearing these messages in your schools for a while now... and this is good. The reason why people have been pushing this knowledge your way, is because there is awesome evidence showing that when teens just like you possess this perspective, they are more successful academically, in extracurricular activities, sports, in your personal relationships, and even with your Mental Wellness.
Something that you've probably heard in your school is the phrase "The Power of YET". The concept is easy, but it's powerful. I'm not good at math... yet; I'm not good with people... yet; I'm not good at sports... yet; I'm not very artistic... yet; I'm not very good in school... yet; I'm not very musical... yet!" I think you get the idea. Adding the "YET" at the end of each of those sentences allows you to experience motivation, and a sense of hope. Carol Dweck who explored these two mindsets, describes it as "The tyranny of NOW, vs the Power of YET" The tyranny of now meaning that "I have to be good now... i have to get good grades now... i have to get into this team now... i have to be better socially right now... I have to belong right now..."
Another way of looking at this mindset is to say that in this world there are two kinds of people... and I know that that's very labeling, and placing people in boxes, but just for the sake of this discussion, it's realizing that there are two kinds of people in this world - Learners and Non-Learners. Learners look for opportunities to grow, to develop, to try new things, to persist, to ask for help, to learn to celebrate the process instead of just celebrating the outcome. Learners look for challenges, and when failure knocks at their door, they interpret failure or mistakes as "NOT YET" and they look to find a different way, or a different strategy, so that next time they may come a little closer. Life is learning, vs, life is a constant test... and I'm always on trial to see if I'm smart enough, good looking enough, talented enough, gifted enough, accepted enough, liked enough.
So I want you to picture this Growth and Fixed Mindset... Imagine yourself in a room. On one corner is the Fixed Mindset YOU:
- You avoid challenges
- You're always focused on proving yourself
- You don't take criticism or feedback well from others
- You don't ask for help when you don't understand something or are struggling
- You're always trying to keep up appearances
- You blame others or circumstances for your mistakes or failures
- You believe that people are either good, or talented, or gifted, and that others just arent
- You believe that people can't change their abilities, talents, or skills
- You're threatened by the success of others
- You avoid situations or skills because they're hard
And on the other corner, is the Growth Mindset YOU
- You welcome a challenge and see the opportunity to grow as a person physically, intellectually, academically, socially, and spiritually. Stop avoiding difficult things. Look beyond your fixed mindset.
- You're focused and committed to learn and make progress
- You are willing to receive criticism and feedback from others because you are about learning my friend
- You ask for help when you need it, because you're not about keeping appearances or looking one way or another, you're here to grow and develop
- You admit faults and weakness, and work to improve... no need to present yourself as this person who doesn't care, or who's a genius all the time... just put in the time and the effort
- You don't blame others or circumstances... if things didn't go your way, don't get bitter, get better and let's get to work. Take care of the things you can control
- Your brain and body can learn any skill, talent, and ability that you desire, you just have to be willing to dedicate time, energy, effort, some patience, and a good dose of persistence. Learn to stick with things that are worthwhile.
- Other people, including you can change their abilities, talents, or skills their entire lives... old dogs can learn new tricks. Have a little faith in humanity. Allow people to change, wish them well, and look for ways to forgive them so that you and them can move on.
- The success of others inspires you and motivates you to fight and try harder.
So... whenever you find yourself on that darkside of that mental room... with that fixed mindset... stuck... feeling hopeless... hypnotized by your fear and insecurities... I want you to break those chains, and imagine yourself walking to the other side of that room, and stepping into that mindset... that perspective that is full of power, confidence, opportunity, hope, and optimism. Step into humility. Step into being a learner instead of someone who is constantly trying to prove that they're either smart or talented or gifted, or that they deserve this or that, and instead, let's get to work with complete confidence that with time, effort, and persistence that you will indeed see progress.
My awesome friend, I want you to realize that this growth mindset will transform the meaning of difficulty and failing, from meaning that we are dumb, or just not good or meant for something, to it meaning that you can grow, develop, get smarter, better, more talented, wiser, stronger, and ultimately more successful.
So pick yourself up from that fixed mindset corner... and place yourself in that powerful, inspiring, and motivating perspective, that is a Growth Mindset. Little by little my friend. Catch yourself in that corner, and slowly take steps toward a better life perspective. Enjoy!
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