I'm being bullied. What can I do?

I'm being bullied. What can I do?

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Let’s talk about bullying

First off, thank you for reading. Talking about bullying takes courage, whether it’s something happening right now or something from the past. The reality is that nearly one in five students is currently experiencing or has experienced bullying at some point. Some people might be involved in bullying others without fully realizing it.  Whatever the situation, understanding what bullying is and knowing some strategies to stop bullying can help.

What exactly is bullying?

Bullying is when someone purposefully hurts, picks on, ridicules, spreads rumors about, demeans, or threatens another person. It’s typically not a one-time incident but a pattern of behavior that happens over and over. Bullying generally happens in four main ways:

Phyiscal bullying: This includes hitting, pushing, pinching, or any other form of unwanted physical harm. It’s the most visible form, but not necessarily the most common.

Social bullying: Sometimes called relational bullying, this involves deliberately excluding someone, spreading rumors, or manipulating friendships to hurt someone. Gossiping is a major part of this. It can create a hostile environment, and sometimes people become part of it without understanding the harm they’re causing.

Verbal bullying: This is any repeated use of language intended to harm, offend, or demean someone. It includes name-calling, insults, and verbally abusive comments.  Words have a lasting impact. They can build people up or tear them down. 

Cyberbullying: This involves using digital platforms like texts, social media, or group chats to attack, demean, or gossip about others. It’s common and can feel inescapable because it follows people online.  If you see this happening in groups you’re part of, consider not participating, leaving those spaces, or encouraging others to do the same.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it helps clarify what bullying looks like. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step. Understanding this information is intelligence, applying it is wisdom.

What if I’m being bullied?

Ultimately, you are in control of how you respond to your circumstances. These are just suggestions, you can use all, some, or none. The choice is yours.

Wait it out: This passive approach involves enduring the behavior while hoping it stops on its own. It can be stressful, causing anxiety about future interactions, but it is a choice some people make.

Avoid them: If direct confrontation feels too intimidating, avoidance can be a temporary strategy. This means steering clear of locations and individuals where bullying tends to occur. It’s not a long-term solution, but it can reduce immediate exposure.

Walk away: Sometimes, bullies are seeking a reaction. Ignoring hurtful words or behavior and walking away confidently can sometimes diminish the bullying. It takes away the satisfaction the person might be looking for.

Use humor: Laughing things off or agreeing in a lighthearted way can reclaim some control and remove the reaction a bully might be seeking. This doesn’t mean making light of the situation, but rather not giving them the emotional response they want.

Buddy system: There’s strength in numbers. Bullies often target individuals who are isolated. Surrounding yourself with friends, especially in less supervised areas, can be a strong deterrent. Stick together!

Tell someone: Consider telling a trusted adult.  This could be a parent, sibling, principal, school counselor, or religious leader. They can offer support and help brainstorm solutions. Some hesitate because of an unwritten “no snitching” rule, but remember: that rule only protects the person mistreating you. 

You have the right to seek help and have a conversation about how to improve your situation. Schools are often highly motivated to address bullying, so consider speaking with a counselor or administrator.

Speak up: If you’re ready to be more direct, you could speak to your bully. The goal is to be clear, calm, and confident. Feel free to use these example phrases (adapt them to fit your style if needed).

• "Why are you being mean? I don’t like it. Please stop."
• "I don’t like being treated this way. Stop."
• "What you’re doing isn’t okay. Leave me alone."
• "I’m asking you to stop. This is not acceptable."
• "Stop saying mean things about me. It’s hurtful."

Sometimes, people don’t realize their behavior is bullying.

A clear statement of how it makes you feel can help them understand the impact. However difficult it feels, don’t withdraw from your life. Keep going to class, participating in activities, and building relationships. Don’t let fear shrink your world. Personal growth is essential!

The path might be challenging, but staying in the game is how you build a brilliant life. No one can stop you from pursuing that, not even bullies. Don’t let someone else’s insecurity, ignorance, or immaturity define your self-worth. You are the author of your life. Your choices, intentions, and actions determine the person you become. There is a clear separation between what people say or do to you and who you are. You’re a person with limitless potential to learn, grow, heal, and excel.

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