How do I stop being offended by what others do?

What is up, you amazing people? Quick question: have you ever seen the movie Inception? If not, seriously, go check it out—it’s a bit intense, but trust, the ideas in it are mind-blowing. There’s a super cool line that says, 'An idea is like a virus. Resilient. Highly contagious. And even the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you.' Crazy, right? Okay, picture this—a tiny thought, like a little seed, planted in your mind. It starts small, but then it grows… like a tree in your brain, shaping how you see the world, how you feel, how you respond to things.

Okay, now take a moment and let that sink in. Your ideas, your beliefs about life, literally shape your whole vibe. This is what psychology is all about! It’s the idea that how you think about things is more important than the stuff itself

That’s why I always remind myself and others that “your psychology is everything!”I want you to picture that your psychology, or your personal perspective, is like a set of goggles that you put on the moment you wake up, and that you wear throughout your day.  Now just imagine that these goggles you put on every morning make the world feel dark… like people don’t like you, like life is unfair, that you’re not good enough, that things are just going to get worse, that you’re just not smart, or that people are just mean, stupid and rude.  That would be pretty rough, right? Imagine wearing those goggles around all day, every day. Not exactly the vibe that you were going for right?

But now, let’s switch it up. What if your personal goggles made you see a world full of awesomeness? Where people will, and do like you? Where you’re smart and can always get smarter? And where life is what it is, but YOU can respond in a chill, powerful way? A world where you don’t go around doubting yourself and comparing yourself all the time, but instead feel good and confident? A world where you believe that no matter what comes at you, you’re gonna learn from it, grow from it, and come out better every single time. Now, THOSE are some sick goggles to go through life with. So, let's jump into the lab right and make you a fresh pair of these life changing goggles. Le’ts get to work!

So the question you asked this week was “How Do I Stop Being Offended By What Others Say or Do?” In other words, what kind of Goggles would you have to wear, to go around feeling more confident, and less bothered and annoyed by what others say or do?  Well, here are five tips that you can launch right now:

1. Stop looking for ways to be offended! I gotta be honest with you, sometimes our mental radars are cranked up to ultra-sensitive. It's like we're just waiting for someone to mess up—a wrong word, a mistake, a missed tag in a post—and then, bam, we’re ready to feed them to the dogs. Honestly, that doesn’t feel like progress to me, does it to you? Progress means moving forward with more confidence, with a little more emotional stability, and a willingness to understand others. So, if you’re finding yourself constantly offended, it might mean your own radar is set to "high alert." So…, let’s talk about a few tips to dial that radar down a bit, so you can stop feeling hurt by everything. You can thank me later! 

2. Realize that we are all stumbling toddlers:  So, have you ever seen a toddler learning to walk? They’re stumblin’, wobbling, tripping, getting back up—it’s just how we learn ! Picture yourself and others like that: nobody’s got it all together. So next time you see someone trip up socially, verbally, or emotionally, instead of making it all about “YOU,” and coming at them like a crash of rhinos, be intelligent, chill-out, and respond with patience and kindness. We’re all just taking baby steps. Starting now, give people the benefit of the doubt, give others a little grace, and I promise you’ll feel way less offended, way less mad, and way happier.  Trust, people! 

3. It’s not about you… It’s about them:  What do I mean by that?  I’ve noticed that when someone is rude, or frustrated, or harsh, it says more about them than it does about you. People often project their insecurities, fears, or frustrations onto others. So when someone throws shade or acts out, you don’t need to let that sink into your mind and soul, instead, just continue on with your day, with what you need to focus on, and do good. 

4. Actually… It is about you!  Alright, listen up! I’m about to hit you with some psychology, so brace yourselves. Here’s the deal: you’re at a major point in your life. You’re becoming more independent, and as a result, becoming less dependent on what others think of you. This is about owning who you want to become as a person, and not sweating the "so-and-so didn’t invite me, or didn’t tag me, or doesn’t like me" stuff. It's time to level up from needing others' approval to feel good about yourself, and instead to focus on your business. And what’s your business? Well… it’s to become a legend! Being the best friend, taking every opportunity at school and in your town, and giving back to your family, friends, school, faith, and community. Forget the "likes" and "tags" make yourself useful and take care of business. Boom!  Ok… my last tip is to…

5. Stay humble and teachable:  Look, you are a work in progress, you’re not a finished product.  Just because you’re becoming more independent, doesn’t mean that you need to close yourself off to the world.  Being humble, coachable, and teachable is a sign of intelligence and confidence, and one of the most important characteristics that coaches and employers are looking for.  Having a growth mindset or a beginner’s mindset, is also a fabulous way to be a little more emotionally flexible when people have feedback for you, instead of getting all offended when someone critiques or gives you some feedback.  Keep that mind and heart soft, so that when goodness comes your way, you’ll take it, instead of resisting it.

So remember to #1- Stop looking for ways to be offended, #2- Realize that we’re all stumbling toddlers, #3- It’s not about you, it’s about them, #4- Actually, it is about you, and #5- Stay humble and teachable my friend.  So, increase your confidence in what you’re doing and what you’re about, and don’t forget to take care of business.  Later gator!

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